Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
