i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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