rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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