i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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