How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
