Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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