I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got chris browned last night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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