That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
