You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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