His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
