seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
