Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
