try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
