I will die if light touches me.
she smelled like a LAN party
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The power of my boobs compel you
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
