The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Houston, we have a squirter
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
