Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
