I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
