oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
