im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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