I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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