We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
