hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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