You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
