I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
