you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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