at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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