before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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