theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
