He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize