I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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