butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
