you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never underestimate the power of titties
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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