So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
