then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
