You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
