OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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