PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
