that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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