She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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