my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
