waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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