Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Rumble strips road head = magical
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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