so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
