her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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