I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My vagina is very pro this idea
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
