why didn't you poke me back
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize