I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
