Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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