Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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