whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
