I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
