i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
