my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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