I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
