Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
