Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
